butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think i peed on brittanys purse
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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