This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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