Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
