If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
