Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
