The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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