So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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