Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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