People in love make me want to vomit
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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