There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
