I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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