some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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