the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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