so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
