just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
