Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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