Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
