I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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