I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
