there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
