You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just cut my nipple shaving
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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