i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
