I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
