Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
