Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
