i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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