ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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