Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
