Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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