Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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