I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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