listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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