I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
