More tranny stories later!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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