I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Life is so much better after having sex.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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