You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
