Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Damn victory sex feels great
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
