i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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