My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
