addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
