I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
