sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
