Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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