I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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