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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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