My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
