I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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