I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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