Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm like, not good at living.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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