Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
love makes seman taste better
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
