I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
