is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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