she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
