We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
