My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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