This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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