Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
