I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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