maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
