Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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