That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
