Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
