you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm sobbing to NWA
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
